B-Town Undercover:A Fishy Underwater Appliance Store

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by Shawn Underwood

Walking on Three Tree Point, I ran into a group of seal-clad divers who were quite talkative due to the high from the surplus of oxygen they inhaled while diving.

I am a diver as well so I can attest to this glorious feeling.

After the usual pleasantries, the divers enlightened us on what fish roamed beneath the dark seas of Three Tree Point. One fish I remember in particular was said to swim upside down. I assume his swim bladder was on the fritz but then I am no expert on fish. I simply know what I like to eat and what I prefer to stay away from.

Aside from the vertically challenged fish, the really interesting tidbit from our local divers concerns the local garbage gossip.

Yes, you heard me correctly – we have a swim-through appliance store for those interested in purchasing a waterlogged Frigidaire or a barnacle-encrusted range.

The scuba divers claim they can identify which neighbor is dumping excess odds and ends into the water by the brand of appliances they swim by. Both divers said the dishwashers, dryers and washers make for excellent reef habitat for the fish.

According to our local divers, there are just enough appliances currently under water near the point to make for pleasant swim-through for our water-breathing friends. No further appliances are needed to improve the fish habitat.

So don’t get any ideas about dumping your old Maytag, because, according to the commercial – Maytags never break down!

According to The Seattle Times newspaper, the United States wins the award for the most garbage/debris picked up on its 10,000-mile stretch of beaches. 190,000 volunteers collected 390 pounds of trash per beach mile, and this is just the debris that we can see – wrappers, caps, straws, fishing line and, my personal favorite – the cigarette butt. Some smokers, unlike the rest of the civilized population, tend to drop their used “butts” regardless of their locations.

This is not a story about smoking so I will refrain from climbing on my horse of height.

The volunteers also included divers who scoured the water, collecting similar debris found on dry land. They also found items a bit more threatening to fish and man. Our friendly local divers said the Seattle fish move through the water blissfully unaware of the dangers of an abandoned trap (fish are not known for their high IQs), and enjoy the man-made reefs.

What fish wouldn’t want to make a nice home in a crustacean covered G.E. dishwasher?

Shawn UnderwoodTwenty-five years of living in Burien gives Shawn Underwood much fodder for her writings.

All of her stories are true, or at least have a grain of truth with no added embellishments.

Read more of her humor at her website here.

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