What To Do When Cops Close In? Jump In Duwamish!

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TUKWILA – Doncha just hate it when you’re out minding your own shady business, prowling about suspiciously, a few outstanding warrants for your arrest, and the cops decide to close in on you?

What’s a bad guy to do whilst in Tukwila?

Jump in the Duwamish river of course!

The chilly, ice-melting, glacier-cold, hypothermia-inducing, embarrassing male body-part retracting Duwamish River that is.

Just such an incident occurred this morning when a man who was wanted by the Tukwila Police ended up jumping into the cold Duwamish in a futile attempt to elude the law.

He was then pulled out an hour later so cold and miserable that he was unable to resist arrest.

Tukwila police said it began with a call at 6:53am reporting a suspicious man in the Foster Point neighborhood. Officers arrived and found a man standing near an SUV that was later found to be stolen.

When officers approached, the man made his lightning-quick Einsteinian decision to run into some bushes, which didn’t really work out that well.

He then shifted his brain cells into a higher gear and jumped into the river to avoid the cops. Ha!

Tukwila firefighters arrived to rescue the criminal, but he continued floating northward along with the river current, shunning all efforts to assist him and ignoring the rescue floats tossed his way.

Firefighters and police followed him safely (and dryly/warmly) from shore for an hour. Finally, a Seattle Fire Department boat arrived and reached the man, who was still in the middle of the river near the Museum of Flight.

The 43-year-old Buckley man was brought to shore, where officers promptly took him into custody, shivering and probably unable to state his own name clearly.

King County Medic One workers then warmed him up before the cops transported him to Harborview Medical Center, where, we trust, he is recovering well enough to be taken to a nice warm and dry jail cell.


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