Craigslist Ad O’The Day:Boyfriend Sees Other Dimensions
We have worked both on a “supernatural” TV show (Fox’ “Sightings”) as well as a “kids science” show (“Bill Nye the Science Guy”) so we’ve been on both sides of the fence, which means that we can truly appreciate today’s Craigslist Ad O’The Day about a boyfriend claiming to “see other dimensions” and a skeptic girlfriend’s reaction to it:
Dear loved ones…..
Soooo…..you wouldn’t believe the turn in events with Ben. The seemingly normal guy I have been dating for several weeks? Employed, decently mannered, bathes on a regular basis???
Well, he decided to have a ‘serious’ talk with me the other night about something.
What you ask? Lets paint the picture….
Its late. I am tired. Half asleep really….not thinking clearly for sure. Fairly certain that if I blink too long I will drift peacefully into sleep.
But its important! We must talk now! Its been holding him back in our ‘relationship’ and without disclosing this information our ‘relationship’ can’t grow…
Ok. Must be important stuff so I shake off the cobwebs and try to imagine what could possibly be this important at this late hour?
I am expecting he used to be married, has a kid, a terminal disease? Something along those lines…..
But NOOOOO….I could no sooner begin to see this one coming than a nuclear bomb dropped on my house.
He sees dead people.
Ok, maybe not dead people – but people in other dimensions. Apparently since he was a small child he has been able to travel thru dimensions in the ‘clouds’ behind his eyes.
Yep. The clouds behind his eyes.
When he closes his eyes he is able to go thru these clouds and visit different realms and realities. He can have conversations with other people and then remember them word for word. He can even predict that during the winter solstice coming in 2012 there will be such a definitive change in the way the earth aligns with other planets and the sun that it will affect our DNA!!!! Yep! You heard it here first! The earths protons and smallest molecules will be affected – as will our DNA!
Holy sh*t……I better start preparing then! I had no idea that the world was going to change that much in just mere minutes…..11:11p WST to be exact….on 12-21-2012. (start planning your shelter now!)
Apparently those smarty pants Mayans depicted this over 5,000 years ago! And I am just hearing about it? I must be living in one of those clouds Ben sees! Holy smokes……
Well, when I began to question his ‘theories’ on the metaphysical principles he so adamantly states are finite and true!!!! he didn’t take it well and…in true form to those great minds that are misunderstood….threw a hissy fit, called me dumb (ok, he said ‘I wouldn’t expect you to understand’ with obvious sarcasm) and left stating triumphantly….’Adios!!’ as he went out the door!
This is where the shock sets in…..
Yep, he just said that. All of it. And my small mind could not grasp the gift of knowledge that he just bestowed upon me so I was deemed unworthy and tossed aside…
Like an old rag. Like I didn’t matter….
Like I meant nothing at all (cue the music please…..)
Well, I don’t know about you but I just must! must! must! get working on my plan to survive the apocalypse that is closing in upon us….I know that my solid body may suffer greatly and my spiritual/metaphysical body may be forever changed due to those pesky protons and neutrons that are coming….
And my DNA…….lets not even think about that!
So, even though it looks like our relationship is over I wanted to pass on the important message that is secretly being spread by the ‘believers’….
Save yourself! The end is coming! 2012!
And, if you please just stop with the negative thinking….embrace the idea that he ‘knows’ this is all real! He (Ben) said so!!!! He has seen it all with his own eyes (over the river and thru the clouds…to Bens mind we go…)
* Oh, and if you know of any NORMAL, single guys that are gainfully employed, don’t live with their parents, and chew with their mouths closed….send em’ my way cuz I am back in the game.