PHOTO: Vandals Knock Over Part Of “The Passage”
BREAKING NEWS, FIRST REPORTED HERE & EXCLUSVE TO THE B-TOWN BLOG AND NO OTHER LOCAL MEDIA WITHIN A 12-MILE RADIUS:
Sometime within the last 24 hours, vandals apparently drove a racing green Mini Cooper onto Burien’s Interim Art Space area, hooked a tow line up and pulled over the “Mother” portion of “The Passage,” which was unveiled on January 24th.
Here’s an exclusive photo, taken by Contributing Photographer Francisco Beigh around 3:45pm Wednesday, April 1st:
“To tell you the truth,” said Officer Brent Calvin, “nobody noticed anything different about this place until some dude with artsy glasses and a girly ponytail starting screaming like he was having a seizure around 15:30 hours. He called 911 on his cute red iPhone, so now we’re stuck here investigating. And I was just about to head down to The Tin Room for happy hour. Sheesh.”
Burien Police and King County Sheriff’s investigators are on the scene now, and are warning curious residents to avoid the area, as there are shards of artistic asphalt and metal everywhere, as well as brightly colored sculptures and paintings that could harm the retinas of citizens used to the normal drab scenery of Burien.
The suspect Mini Cooper was last seen at the drive-through of the neighboring Burger King, where the older male driver ordered a BK Kid’s Meal cheeseburger with ketchup only, apple fries and a small chocolate shake, then sped off towards Des Moines. According to the manager, they may return to retrieve a forgotten toy, which this week is from the hot new 3-D movie “Aliens vs Monsters.” A Port of Seattle S.W.A.T. team is now staking out the fast-food restaurant.
If you’ve seen a green Mini Cooper with a white roof, driven by an older white male with a sated young male with blond hair in the back seat scrambling around looking for a missing toy, you are encouraged to call police immediately.
According to local artist I.I. Dinka Hefeweizensen, who is the new director of the B-Town Interactive Artists Coalition House (aka B-IACH):
“Rather than re-build this sculpture, we’re going to leave it as is and just re-name it ‘What Happened to My Mama?’”
This story is developing, and rest assured we will post continuing-exclusive updates as soon as they come in, whether you like it or not.