EXCLUSIVE: A Q & A With “Bret The Brat” About The Oct. 4th Brat Trot & Oct. 3rd Pub Crawl
By “Wurst” we mean the very unique fundraiser known as the (first-annual) “Brat Trot” 5K run (which you can count down to with our handy-dandy timer over there in the right sidebar…).
As we first reported here on Aug. 3rd, Brat Trot is being “braut” to you by The Tin Room, with help from the good peeps who helped run the Cove to Clover Race back in March (which raised $12K), with proceeds benefiting:
BRET THE BRAT (with Hot Link in the old country)
We were able to obtain an exclusive interview with “Bret the Brat,” who’s become a sort of official mascot of the event, which we present to you below in its unedited entirety (NOTE: Bret speaks with an accent, so it’s best to read this with one in your head):
Q: What is this “Brat Trot” thing anyways?
A: Think of this as gesture of goodwill…the sausage community extending handshake of friendship to nearby humans. Though we are sorry about that sausages will crush humans in the running challenge.
Q: Why Olde Burien?
A: Dan the Sausageman is near the center of the known sausage universe. All sausages want to come here…though most do not come because they can’t walk. And oddly, the ones who do end up here seem so happy, they never leave. Is odd.
Q: Is this a fundraiser?
A: Yes, yes, yes. We want to help smaller human children by helping WestSide Baby and Safe Kids of South King County. Maybe, we are working to help those organizations to care for perhaps, little bratwursts in future as well.
Q: Who the heck are you and why should we care?
A: Why you curse to me? I am a friendly Bratwurst trying to make place of Burien friendly. Humans and sausages we become nice friends, no?
Q: Will you be running?
A: I have been training for this for more than one month, I will be most likely be winning.
Q: What’s this about an oompa band at the finish line?
A: Bratwurst are from Bavaria, so naturally we love the oompah and this band is the best (and is very large). We tried to get German rock band Scorpions but they want more than $500…much, much more…is too bad.
Q: What can runners expect during the race?
A: Please prepare to lose running competition to highly trained running sausages. Other than that, there is much fun for human adults and children. Bratwurst with kraut, beer garden, root beer garden (free food and root beer for kids), floating brat races for the kids and of course dancing sausages. And have whole family take photo with a sausage for your special yuletide greeting cards.
Q: What’s this about a relay race with a hot dog?
A: NO HOT DOGS WILL BE AT MY RACE! The brat-ton is a faux sausage handcrafted from foam rubber. It will be a cherished item passed from down in family of high class. You want more details you go to this webpage! NO MORE SPEAKEN DAS HOT DOGGEN!
Q: Rumor has it that the “Yodeling Dominatrix” may be there as well?
A: Hmmm, is new information to me. Maybe special friend of Sausageman?
Q: Where the heck is this all happening again?
A: Oh for the sake of Der Schlussenfuffel, here’s das mappen â€“ clicken to see larger version:
Q: What is this about a Pub Crawl on Sat., Oct. 3rd, the night before the race?
A: Ah yes, well yes I will be there, and will be allowing you humans to “warm up for race” with me during this fun pre-event. Pick up official crawl bib # ($10) at Tin Room beginning at 6pm, then crawl to at least five of the official crawl stops for “crawl drink and food specials.” At each you are to gather visitation stickers to qualify for door prize drawing to be held at Tin Room at 11pm. Humans asked to dress in traditional German costumes (not just hat mit das feather) or come dressed as a beautiful Bratwurst (even better) and you crawl for free (well, actually you’ve paid with your self respect in the case of the brat suit). Humans asked also please have what you call “designated driver” or taxi take you home, no? Seeking ze further info here.
Q: We understand that you’re in a video. Can we post it?
A: No. Whatever you does, no posting no viewing of video. I sign no release, and whoever watches will pay bigtime und hearen from mein lawyers!