Jaywalkers Beware – City Of Burien Installs Five New Crosswalk Cameras

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by Robb Patrickson

On Thursday (April 1), the City of Burien installed five new “Crosswalk Cameras” at critical pedestrian crosswalks around town, including in the newly-annexed “North Burien” area.

The cameras are very similar to the red light cameras installed last year, only instead of vehicles, these will actively monitor pedestrian crosswalks, and take photos of jaywalkers or other offenders.

Resulting photos will be posted to the city’s website, in a “Rogues Gallery”-style presentation, as well as on the city’s Facebook page and through Twitter. Offenders will be also openly mocked using PowerPoint slideshow presentations during city council meetings, and photos of jaywalkers will also be shown as “interstitial entertainment” on the city’s TV channel (21).

If you jaywalk and are photographed, the only way you can get your picture removed from the gallery is to pay a $101 fine, which can be paid online at the city’s website using PayPal.

“Once we saw how lucrative the red light cameras were, we just had to expand it,” said a female brunette City Worker who occasionally wears glasses yet refused to be identified. “These new cameras have the same technology, only they’ve been customized to look for jaywalkers. When a citizen crosses without waiting for the proper signal, a photo is taken and instantly uploaded to our servers. It’s then posted on a new part of our website, as well as various social media outlets, all of which should become pretty popular very quickly.”

Our source says that the idea for these innovative new crosswalk cameras comes from a successful test case in Slooflir, PA, where similar cameras have brought in annual revenues of over $365,000 for the last three years.

We happened to be walking around downtown Burien today, when we noticed something odd on SW 152nd – at a crosswalk, where once stood Kim David Hall’s “Art Clock,” we saw that the top clockface portion had been removed and replaced with a brand new RedFlex camera; here’s a photo of it:

[INTERN EDITOR’S NOTE: We certainly hope all our beloved Readers are enjoying today, April 1, 2010, aka “April Fools’ Day”!]

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10 Responses to “Jaywalkers Beware – City Of Burien Installs Five New Crosswalk Cameras”
  1. napavine says:

    Fines should double if your caught on camera with broken or worn birkenstocks.

  2. Michele says:

    good one

  3. Diana says:

    I love this one! Ain’t Photoshop GREAT!

  4. Keith says:

    snore…. I can’t wait for this day to be over. I hate the monotony that April fools day has become on the internet.

  5. Dale says:

    “This Perfect Day” by Ira Levin, 1970

    Christ, Marx, Wood and Wei
    Led us to this perfect day.
    Marx, Wood, Wei, and Christ;
    All but Wei were sacrificed.
    Wood, Wei, Christ and Marx
    Gave us lovely schools and parks.
    Wei, Christ, Marx, and Wood
    Made us humble, made us good.


  6. Coverofnight says:

    Had me going there for a minute when I saw this on Facebook…………good one! Though, if it was true, I like napavine’s comment on the birkenstocks.

  7. 3TreeCellars says:

    So, it looks like they won’t catch anyone jaywalking since the camera is taking photos of folks IN the crosswalk. 😉

  8. Bad joke says:

    It is illegal in the state of wa to take a picture of someones face, pretty bad April fool’s joke, u can be more creative than that

  9. Gorfsnopple says:

    These kinds of Orwellian actions by cities across the State and the country, inch by inch, line by line, need to be stopped.

    I don’t care if it’s jaywalking or a stop light camera…the road we are headed down is not good for anyone.

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