On Annexation Day, Welcome Burien's New Sister City: Slooflir, PA!

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We here at The B-Town Blog join the local bigwigs and dignitaries in welcoming Burien’s newest “Sister City” – the township of Slooflir, PA.

Yes, Slooflir, PA. As in Pennsylvania. Located about halfway between Philadelphia and Pittsburgh, in Fulton County, near the Maryland border and the Appalachians.

Slooflir. Odd sounding name you say? Well, so is Burien, dontcha think?

We couldn’t find much (at all) on Slooflir online, so we employed “old school” journalism and … picked up the phone!

(The area code for Slooflir is 717, by the way. Same as Waynesboro and Gettysburg.)

Anyway, like Burien, Slooflir is a family name, only instead of a misspelled German immigrant, this is the surname of a brave and industrious line of folks originating near what we now call the Republic of Austria.

That’s according to the Slooflir Chamber of Commerce folks. Slooflir, PA was officially named and chartered in the early 1800s.

Because of its equidistance between Pennsylvania’s two biggest cities “it’s tough for us to pick a major league baseball team to cheer on. So, we just ignore the sport and dive into polka and the like,” said Sloofir resident Frederick “Freddy B” Oberwart.

That’s okay. We ignore the Phillies and Pirates here in Burien, too.

Oberwart is the editor of the Slooflir Flugelhorn, an old-school, printed weekly newspaper with a circulation of 4,000.

“About two-thirds of that 4,000 are just free papers we toss uninvited upon the peeling porches of the wanting folks of Slooflir,” Oberwart reported, his voice quivering over a bad analog connection.

He continued: “The chips of unmaintained paint drop off and fly away from those porches and siding and sills like worthless tokens of neglect, their expiration dates lost in the past of our old-style, backwards and Godforsaken rustbucket mentality of a long-gone industrial era that worlds ago passed on after passing us by.

“What will we do? My God,what WILL we do?” Oberwart wailed into the phone.

“Can’t the good people of Burien, our new Sister City, help us in some way?” Oberwart beseeched. “Please! My God!”

Research we put together in a hurry tells us that Slooflir, PA does have the highest concentration of what are called “Reverse Engineers” in all of these United States. Don’t quite know what a Reverse Engineer is exactly, but sometimes you understand something better by walking through it backwards, like playing a film in reverse.

Life as reflection.

Like seeing the word “ecnalubmA” appear in your rear view mirror as an emergency vehicle.

Well anyway, let’s all raise a hearty pint and toast Slooflir, PA., Burien’s newest Sister City!

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One Response to “On Annexation Day, Welcome Burien's New Sister City: Slooflir, PA!”
  1. TcB says:

    Let’s rename our city ahctog to commemorate this day!

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