BREAKING NEWS: Seattle Mayor Greg Nickels was slightly injured Wednesday morning around 10:15am during a courtesy visit to Burien.
Mayor Nickels was observing improvements to the 1st Ave. South corridor when an Alaska Airlines jet mistook the top of his gigantic head for Sea-Tac airport’s new third runway.
While there were no injuries to passengers on Flight 401, the Boeing 757-500 was declared a total loss.
Burien mayor Joan McGilton, who witnessed the mishap, said the city of Burien will pick up Nickels’ medical bills.
When asked where the funds will come from to pay for the medical treatment, McGilton said
“Oh hell…we’ll just shorten the duration of our amber lights and start shooting more pictures!”
Meanwhile, numerous eyewitnesses to the incident have filed a class action lawsuit against both Nickels and his giant skull.
“It’s too ding dang noisy,” shouted resident Harriet Cooper over the ding dang noise, “and the Port is refusing to insulate my house against Mayor Gigantor’s hy-uge cranium! WTF?”