This month, while exploring the different ways people are finding community in person, I finally visited a church that I have long considered attending.

When I was pregnant with my first child 20 years ago and looking for a community for our little family, I emailed the then-minister to ask if atheists would be welcome. He replied with an enthusiastic yes, saying many of their members were atheists, and people of any religion or no religion are welcome at Unitarian churches. However, life got in the way and I am only now, two decades later, attending for the first time. My visit offered a unique and surprisingly vibrant look at a community that challenges traditional notions of church.

After parking at Saltwater Unitarian Universalist Church, I saw, standing near an outside table, a woman with a welcoming smile wearing a bold rainbow-striped stole. The woman turned out to be Reverend Alison, Saltwater’s minister. I had chosen this week to visit because the church website said the topic would be “Joy” and that sounded great. Alison is definitely someone that exudes joy; she is buoyant and vibrant. Later, during the service, she would describe her own refusal to give up her childlike wonder and enjoyment of life. She said, “Beware of social norms that cut you off from your joy.”

Upon entering the nave, I sat in the sunny last row of seats in a room oriented towards an entire wall of windows that overlooked a gorgeous natural landscape. After the service, I was told the seats used to face another wall of the room. However, since everyone was always turning to look out the windows, they made the decision to reorient the seats and embrace the view. 

Prior to the service, as people got ready, greeted each other, and the room filled up, a projector screen scrolled between announcements for various activities and groups. From a speculative fiction book group to a plant walk, an ivy pull to a “paint & sip” event, a writing group to choir practice and an Easter egg hunt, these people seemed to have every option one could want for socializing and building community beyond the Sunday service.

The room really did fill up. Though I could still make out a few empty seats, it was clear that this community is thriving. Afterwards, I asked one of the church organizers if they had a plan to add extra seating if their numbers grow. She said they had been talking about potentially adding a second service, doubling their capacity. The ages of members in the room included toddlers and children, young adults, older adults, and grandparents. There were people of various races and sexual identities.

Many in the room wore colorful, happy clothing. The woman in front of me wore a sweatshirt with the bright message on the back:

“To the person behind me, you are amazing, beautiful, and enough.”

I chose to take that personally. Around ten older members joined the hybrid service via zoom. Their faces were occasionally shown on the screen, so that those at home could feel like a part of the group. 

Much of the service resonated with me. Perhaps it will with you as well. The service began not with scripture, but, to my surprise and delight, with a reading from Emma Goldman. The passage was about her dancing with reckless abandon. Goldman had been told she shouldn’t do frivolous things like dancing, when she had an important cause to fight for. She responded that no cause should demand the denial of joy. 

One reading asked if it was selfish to feel joy, while there is suffering. Other thought-provoking questions included: Is joy a zero sum game? Is suffering noble? One passage said that we are trained to distrust happiness, but that “denying yourself joy doesn’t improve the world.” They mentioned “collective effervescence”, something that happens when we come together to dance and sing.

During our introduction at the entrance, Reverend Alison had told me there would be dancing. Singing, I had expected, but dancing came as a surprise. I remained open but skeptical. From the first chords of the opening song, however, a big group of children plus a few adults danced in a front corner of the room left open for kids. Later, Alison got the whole room dancing after reading a quote from a YouTuber, Gurdeep Pandher, who became famous during the pandemic for his inspirational dance videos. One of his instructional videos was then played for us, whilst everyone in the room did their best to follow along. It was fun, energetic, and a little goofy.

When it came time for tithing, it was explained that funds collected would be donated to Friends of Saltwater State Park. A child brought around the collection basket and waited expectantly for each person to toss in some cash. 

Before the kids left as a group, they all circled up on the floor for a brief story time. Images of the picture book were projected for the rest of us. The book, titled “The Little Book of Joy” was co-written by the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. My takeaway from this book is that focusing on things that make you sad will make sadness all you see. In contrast, noticing things that bring you joy will open you up to experiencing more joy.

Throughout the entire service, words were read from famous authors and thinkers, and not one of them was biblical. I have been told many times that Unitarians can be atheists, or any religion at all, but I had assumed that we atheists would still have to sit through a lot of typical churchy stuff. I couldn’t picture how a church service would fill up the hour without quoting the bible at all. These guys did it, with refreshing variety and meaning. Not limited to the Bible, they seem to be free to take inspiration from philosophers the world over.

There were solemn moments along with all the lightheartedness. People shared their personal joys and sorrows on slips of paper that Minister Allison read aloud. Joys like the return of spring were shared, along with sorrows like a death in the family or medical hardships.

The most notable feature in the bathroom was the safer sex supply shelf, which provided not only standard condoms, but female condoms and lube. There were also signs in the stalls in other languages, as the space is used for two other religious groups at different times throughout the week.

If you are looking for a “church” that is unlike any experience you have previously had with churches, this might be your place. I, personally, still have more research to do, but this one has definitely made the cut. As I drove home from the service, I opened up my windows to the sunshine and sang along with Fiona Apple’s cover of Across The Universe at full volume, feeling quite happy after my visit to this unique community. Perhaps some of that collective effervescence lingered in me.

Saltwater Unitarian Universalist Church is located at 25701 14th Place S., Des Moines, WA 98198: